Game On! Frustrating Games 

Game on!
 Game reviews by Kristin, Brandon, and Stacy

Hello everyone! We hope you’ll enjoy these reviews for free games to amuse, or frustrate, you!  These are a all browser games and none of them will cost you anything to play.

Today's theme
Games that make you go AAAAUGH

Game One
QWOP 
A browser-based game available here

QWOP

The premise is simple—on your keyboard, the letters Q & W extend the runner’s thigh muscles, and O & P control his calves. What results is the most uncoordinated, undignified series of face-plants you could possibly imagine. What’s particularly great is, when you’re making even a teeny bit of progress, the music picks up like in an inspiring sports movie. Pro strat: If you get in a kneeling position you can wiggle your way a good distance… until you hit the first hurdle. And yes, if anyone recognized the style, this game was created by the same designer who created Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy.   -Kristin

This game broke me as a human. Not only did QWOP go splat, but so did my pride - Brandon
Game 2
Fly Sui 
A browser-based game available here

Fly Sui
This infuriating game is about catching flies with chopsticks. Each fly you catch gives you more time. Catching them is nearly impossible. In college, some friends and I got really competitive and played this for days, posting screenshots of each new high score. After a while, you get into a meditative trance. You don’t just see the fly, you see where the fly will be, like seeing through the Matrix. You don’t just catch the fly, you are the fly. Best score we saw was 11.   -Kristin

I refuse to believe anybody can score in this game. I chop, but they don’t stop! The constant buzzing, I can’t escape it. I just wanted to catch one fly! - Brandon

Wow. This game. I didn’t think there could be a game more frustrating than QWOP until this. My inability to catch flies with one mouse click it somehow stings more than the confusing controls of QWOP and other like “I Am Bread.”  - Stacy

High scores: (after 10 minutes)
Kristin – 4
Brandon – 0
Stacy –  2
Game 3
Winnie the Pooh’s Home Run Derby
A browser-based game available here

Winnie the Pooh Home Run Derby

If you haven’t heard of this game, buckle in for some internet history. This game became a viral hit back in 2013 due to its insane difficulty. The controls are slow, it requires preternatural reflexes and when you get to higher levels the pitchers cheat with things like invisible or warping balls. The final boss is Christopher Robin, who was difficult enough to inspire dozens of memes depicting him as an Eldritch horror. Pro strat: Click the ‘Status’ button on the home screen to upgrade your abilities, such as Contact to make it easier to hit the ball. I only learned you could do this while writing this review, so no wonder I couldn’t get past Piglet the first time around.    -Kristin

This game, I remember this game. It lures you into such a false sense of security. Pleasant music, vibrant colors, and the frame rate seems to hold up! The menu is very responsive, and it’s natural to think you are in a for a good time. The true nature of this game begins to reveal itself in about five minutes in. The hit detection is way off, the music repeats constantly with no variety and worst of all, the pitchers all just stare at you, with their cold eyes. They challenge you, they dare you to take them on. Are you up for the challenge? (No, no you are not. I’m lucky I tied with Kristin)   - Brandon

Probably if I had known about the updates, I would have gotten farther than Piglet! But alas, Piglet was where my skills ended. I find the only way I could get home runs was if I blocked out the music and unfocused my eyes and only focused on the sounds of the pitcher throwing. Even then, it was a chance if I actually got a hit! - Stacy

High scores: (after 10 minutes)
Kristin – 11/12 vs. Kanga
Brandon –  11/12 vs Kanga
Stacy – 5/5 vs Lumpy
Tell us what you think!

Shatter one of our records? Let us know! Post your victories (or defeats) in the comments, we love to hear about it.
Posted by svanholb@auroragov.org On 18 December, 2020 at 1:08 PM  

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